When is it time to go? When is it time to leave a job, a love affair, a friendship, a family?
Some of us stay past our time. We stay until we hate the job, despise the lover, avoid the friend, even until we feel rejected by the family.
We’ve talked about this in the past, the notion of listening to your inner-voice. Some time ago, I discussed this being your true north speaking to you. Perhaps the answer to the question, “When is it time to go?” is hidden in that little voice.
I made a decision about three weeks ago to sell my home, the family home. I made this decision on a Tuesday, engaged a Realtor on Thursday, posted the sign on Saturday and within 60 hours, it was under contract. From the outside, it appeared to acquaintances, I’d made a snap decision. Those in my inner-circle, friends and family, knew better. Actually, this was a four-year decision. For these years, I attempted to make what was the home I shared with my late husband, Ev, become my home. After redecorating, painting, and new furniture the home remained in my past. It did not want to move into my present. I respected that.
So, after four years and multiple attempts to stay, how did I know it was time to go? I listened to one quiet message from the inner-voice. Up to that moment, a part of me still belonged and I kept trying to figure out how the alone-me could fit into this space. Sitting quietly at the kitchen island, the place Ev and I entertained friends, I held court with my beloved neighborhood girl group, “The Lambert Ladies,” where my grandsons and I worked on homework, where my children and grandchildren joined us for many family meals, sitting in “their” spots, where we hosted the annual family Raclette Christmas dinner, at this island where Ev and I held hands in silence, during his last days on earth, where the two of us made memories, where we lived our lives, I sat in quiet. All my efforts spent. I regarded this space, this place I couldn’t seem to fit into any longer, and this is what my inner-voice said, “Sweetie, you don’t belong here, any longer. You’re free to go.”