My Mamma taught me how to make lemonade when the world hands me lemons. I have. I have gallons and buckets, and tons and truckloads of lemonade. My daughters think no one does this better than their Mom. I even know how to make lemonade from a sack of rocks. Sometimes life isn’t kind enough to hand you lemons.
This is a valuable tool for anyone who wants to remain positive, who wants to make the best of a bad situation, who wants to see the glass as half full and not half empty, who wants to discover the silver lining tucked into the tattered coat. Enough clichés for you?
Here’s the deal, this tool I have so carefully polished over the years as a professional woman, a young wife, then a single mother, then a widow after 25 years of marriage, and so on, is actually a deadly weapon when used improperly.
Here’s a little story that might help.
Since being widowed a few years ago, I’ve dated several men. Always hopeful. Most have been one-and-done because we didn’t have any spark or we weren’t a good match, coincidentally I met most of them on Match. There were a couple I tried to build a relationship with, and after months of time investment, I ended the relationships disappointed. What was I doing wrong? Why was I hitching my wagon to falling stars? The answer to both questions is the same, lemonade.
I was so adept at taking a little shred of cloth and sewing a lovely gown that I started doing it in my life choices. You see, the difference is this – my Mamma taught me to make lemonade out of the lemons LIFE HANDS ME, in other words, in situations over which I have no control. A noisy neighbor moves into the apartment next door, bring him a tray of cookies and request he turn the music down. You might just make a new friend in the process. You’re stuck in unexpected traffic, turn on that Audible book you’ve wanted to start. You’re laid off from a job, learn a new skill and begin a new profession.
Life did not HAND those misfit men to me. I CHOSE them. I squeezed every lemon they gave me into a bitter cocktail. After so many years of “making the best of a bad situation,” I defaulted to making lemonade out of the lemons I picked from the tree.
Lesson learned. Ask yourself, “Do I deserve better?” If you do, end the connection immediately, and keep shopping for a juicy sweet plum. YOU are in control of the people you select to date and with whom you build a relationship. You can’t build a meaningful relationship out of a crumb someone tosses your way. Unless you like drinking bitter cocktails, wait for a peach.
More about those many online dating experiences in upcoming posts.